After noticing the propensity with which pheasants commited suicide in front of oncoming cars, the Cow wasn't altogether surprised. In fact, what surprised her was that hunters continued to use guns at all. But what did intrigue her was that the man in question included other forms of roadkill, such as rabbit, badger, deer, weasle, hedgehog and fox. A bit like Jamie Oliver let loose in the Disney studios, it seemed.
She'd seen a deer roaming around the streets of Ingleton, but no one was mounting pavements in 4X4s to run it over to eat, and mostly, when a rabbit ventured into the road, traffic halted to let it cross safely. What was more of a concern to her was the huge hole in the stone wall which scattered stones into the road, suggesting a break-out attempt by the local cows. Would byway beef classify as roadkill?
Though, looking at the size of the cows, it would be more likely that they'd walk away with only the slightest bruising, leaving the driver maimed or expired on the road. "Do you think," she asked Bronstein, "he'll have an Arwin Meiwes chapter for such instances?"