"Gosh!" exclaimed Gramsci. "Everyone you mail from that account! So," there was a mischievous twinkle in his eight eyes, "does the VC have a Vuisboek account, then?"
The Cow sniggered at the thought of poor Deborah having "regularly update VC's status on FB" added to her performance objectives. "Fortunately not," she laughed. But you'll be surprised who all does. Wallace being one!"
Gramsci looked up. "Does Gromit have one too?" he asked, curious.
The Cow chuckled. "I wondered about that, too. And who'd be brownnosing by friending him. So of course I clicked on 'view Wallace's friends'. And the result was, well, tragic - it reported back that Wallace had no friends!"
"Well that explains his recent behaviour," Gramsci sighed.
"Recent behaviour," mused the Cow. "Odd that you mention that. It occurred to me that perhaps he'd just joined yesterday, so hadn't yet mastered the complexities of finding and adding friends, so I went to his profile to view his mini-feed. And..." she shook her head sadly, "it said, 'Wallace has had no recent activity'."
"That explains his absence from the Wednesday Paper," remarked Gramsci. "Though it is rather worrying when people are paid vast salaries for no discernible activity."
"Oh I don't know," chuckled the Cow. "At least if there's no activity, there's no damage being done, either."