"Oh?" Bronstein looked up, perplexed. "But I thought that the Italian Consulate had not even accepted the courier's packing, delivering your passport and kilograms of other requested, supporting documents?"
"Correct," nodded the Cow. "Why they ask you to go through all that performance, merely to ignore the submission when you finally get it all together, is beyond me! Obviously they don't want visitors from SA, but they might get them whether they want them or not!"
"How so?" asked Bronstein. "As I understand, they've tightened up access to non-EU citizens throught the Schengen states."
"Ah," the Cow mused, "that's the political world. But nature doesn't respect political boundaries!"
Bronstein scratched his head. "You'll have to explain that," he sighed.
"Well, tomorrow CERN is set to fire up the Large Hadron Collider, right? And, soon enough, they'll be colliding the particles!"
"And then we'll all be dead!" squeaked Bronstein. "Even the Italians!"
"Tsk, tsk!" clucked the Cow, irritated. "It's neither a nuclear holocaust nor the end of the world. The end of the ignorant, confused world as we know it, perhaps, but not the end of the world completely!"
"But what if they do recreate the Big Bang?" Bronstein asked nervously. "Then we'll have a new Universe, and what will happen to this old one?"
The Cow rolled her eyes. "They're not recreating the Big Bang!" she sighed impatiently. "They're simulating conditions instants after the Big Bang! They're trying to create, or find evidence of, dark matter!"
"Is this the WIMPs vs MACHOs thing? That the WIMPs might actually win?" Bronstein asked, confused.
"Perhaps," chuckled the Cow. "The results are sure to be interesting. But I'm wondering, if they do manage to create a teeny, tiny, weeny little cutey-pooty small black hole... what will happen?"
"The earth will implode?" suggested Bronstein.
"Unlikely, if it was that small," shrugged the Cow. "More likely it will suck more than Electrolux, and we'll all find ourselves being slowly, inexplicably, drawn towards Switzerland."
"Until everyone has their very own cuckoo clock!" chuckled Bronstein.
"And their ears ring with yodels," agreed the Cow. "But how far we get will depend on many factors, including where we start from."
"So?" Bronstein looked confused.
"We just need to do the calculations and make sure that we're in a direct line to land up in Italy, en route to Switzerland, and positioned far enough away that we stop there and don't land up in the fondue pot!"