To be fair, the email itself was fairly innocuous - one of those "haven't seen you in ages, why don't you come round for a visit?" type of emails that people do send each other from time to time - but it wasn't the contents that unnerved the Cow. It was the notion of Cowma.
Cowma, for those not versed in bovine matters, is the effect of past deeds and misdeeds on current and future lives, and has a nasty habit of remembering things the conscious mind has succeeded in forgetting. Such as - with sufficient effort - the archaeologist. That archaeologist.
She wasn't entirely sure how to make good her Cowmic Debt. Clearly the Universe wanted more from her than the meagre downpayments she made each day with her labours. Perhaps if she toiled selflessly for World Peas, or fed the starving supermodels? Perhaps if she let all the lawyers go duckhunting with Dick Cheney, or persuaded Tony Blair not to set an example by waiting till 68 to retire....? And then it struck her - the most valuable contribution she - or anyone - could possibly make to the Universe! Of course! She could translate documents from Bremner into English!