Gramsci shook his head sadly. This grumbling was, he felt, akin to Dr Garlic blaming the media for reporting uMalume's "Shower Guide to HIV Prevention" rather than taking the opportunity to distance herself, her ministry, the government's HIV prevention strategy and all cordates with a central nervous system from those infamous utterances.
But the Cow was on a roll. "Perhaps uMalume should do a course in basic stats," she suggested. "Then when he speaks of negligible chances, and reducing chances, he can toss numbers around glibly, and sound learned."
Gramsci agreed. After all, there were some factors in uMalume's favour that he could have cited ahead of his shower anecdote. For example, his age. Or the claim - unverified, as the prosecution shied away from an in locoinspection - that he was circumcised.
Instead, though, he put his faith in the shower.
Mr Timberland had asked the Cow what the chances were, generally, for a man to become infected with HIV from a single encounter of unprotected sex with a woman. Experts disagreed, as experts tend to, with figures ranging from one in 588 to three in 10 000. However, as reported, this figure increases in the presence of vaginal trauma, bleeding, or ulceration, and the medical reports confirmed vaginal tearing in the complainant after her encounter with uMalume. And, of course, other factors are pertinent, like the viral load of the infected person at the time of the encounter.
All in all quite a complex calculation. Far easier just to reach for the raincoat, or - since he'd forgotten to add it to his shopping list after running out - to dial Mr Delivery for fresh stocks.
And, while he had Mr Delivery on the line, he could ask for extra garlic on that pizza...