T was finding how much she enjoyed being able to shave her legs and paint her nails, without having to engage in debates about whether or not such actions were undermining the Feminist Revolution of the 70s.
The Cow glanced down at her shiny blue hoofs, and shuddered. Bovine legs were never as smooth and seductive as the airbrushed perfection Cosmo sold, somehow. But she saw T's point. Surely the whole point of feminism was to allow women to live out their female-ness in whatever way they wanted, rather than conforming to some stereotype - whether punted by men or The Sisterhood? Yet when Kate Taylor had dared suggest on the Guardian Blogspot that the new feminists wore crop tops, she'd had her head taken off.
"Maybe because she used the word 'chick'?" suggested Gramsci.
(But of course she didn't. Not once, in her entire article. The "chick" manifested in her headline courtesy of a sub-editor.)
"I think they're just jealous," ventured the Cow. "Those 70s feminists with the Amazon rainforest in their armpits see these other women getting further with a lip-glossed smile than they managed with three decades of marching and peer-counselling and vegetarian cooking behind them, and they're miffed. They've been taking back the night for these kids to go and fling themselves from one man's bed to the next and they're fuming. No wonder G-strings are getting such bad press - they suggest that someone out there might actually be having sex and enjoying it! That's not what the Sisters want to hear - what room is there for enjoyment when there's a war to be fought?"
Gramsci mused long and hard. "I think the new brand of feminists are nicer," he decided. "They take themselves far less seriously and some of them even have a sense of humour."
Though he was hard pressed, when pushed, to define clearly the difference between these new brand feminists and yesterday's bimbos...
"A feminist," declared the Cow, "is a woman who lets her boyfriend use her razor. So that when the cops find the murder weapon, it's his fingerprints they find, not hers!"