The Cow was dumbstruck. She'd thought the connections were obvious to everyone, but then again, some people did the Su Doku by a process of elimination, so not all minds worked the same.
"Well, for a start," she began patiently, "both occupy, or occupied, deputy positions to the top political position in the country, be it PM or President. Both faced accusations of sexual impropriety, linked to their relative positions of power. Both claimed these to be consensual - which has been the subject of much debate, given the resemblance of both to Jabba the Hutt.
"Both face enquiries - a trial, in one case - because of undeclared irregularities in tendering processes. Both have been savaged by the media, have fed the febrile imaginations of bloggers, have reacted in surly, defensive tones and have been selling newspapers the world over.
"Both have been dissed by feminists, used as ammunition by political opponents on their parties' right to illustrate the depths of corruption and rot inherent in their parties, and both have been relieved by their bosses of their responsibilities - though one kept his salary and perks, despite this.
"Both are valuable to their parties as reminders of their parties roots and former constituencies - the working classes, whose support they still largely retain. Both have families who are publicly supporting them, and parties who are refusing any public flogging."
The Cow paused. There were also differences, but she thought it best not to dwell on those.
Gramsci shrugged. "I'm still not entirely sure what relevance the politics of some small damp island in the North Sea holds for us," he ventured.
The Cow looked up. "There is another link," she countered. "Peter Anschutz, the American at the centre of the Millennium Dome allegations, has been getting all the bad press, but do you know who his partner in this Mega Casino plan is? None other than Sol Kerzner!"
It was all a little too much for Gramsci, and he retreated under the keyboard.