Gramsci cowered under the keyboard. This was not one of those winnable debates. Besides, he'd heard the Cow argue vehemently - albeit on different occasions - that burkahs were the ultimate symbol of female liberation, and of female oppression. He knew that if there was such a thing as a "Correct Opinion", it would never be the one voiced - or agreed with - by any male who happened to be present.
"What is he proposing?" he asked.
The Cow shrugged. "Something more formal than No Dress Code at all. Something that covers tummies. And legs, I suppose, since it appears to have been a short skirt that destabilised the tea room!" She sighed. "He did say he thought Islam was right on this one - so it could be anything from hijab to burkah, perhaps?"
Gramsci chuckled. Cows were odd-shaped enough without burkahs. He couldn't imagine one successfully negotiating the stairs dressed thus. Not to mention the peripheral vision problem a niqab would pose for those wide-spaced eyes.
The Cow sighed again. "It's quite tragic," she lowed, "when erstwhile progressives slip into the comforting conservatism of middle age! Next he'll start advocating name badges and bowties, like they wear down in Bremner!"
Gramsci paused. "I wonder what he'd make of your recreational attire?" he muttered. "That even had the butler protesting!"
The Cow shrugged. All the postcards en route to Germany reporting bovine nudity in the Touw River were no doubt keeping the post office in business. Yet somehow that attire was unlikely to manifest on Campus. There was simply no way she was going to stand up in front of a fashion blogger or a gym blogger with unironed bits of cowhide exposed.
"Maybe that's what it is," Gramsci laughed. "Prof Ritalin is not really concerned about destabilisation. He's worried about conformity! If tummies become the dress code, he'll have to follow suit... so to speak?"
The Cow blanched. The thought of the collective Bremner tummy on display was terrifying. "Luckily it will never happen!" she sighed. "What would they pin their name badges to?"