"They clearly didn't include the Knowledge Factory in the sample," agreed Gramsci. "If people really hated office gossip that much, the grapevine would have died off ages ago, instead of growing new shoots and leaves all the time!"
"And it's been particularly busy of late," added the Cow, "what with all the recent events down the Hill."
"Alleged events," corrected Gramsci. "It was all a dream, remember? But isn't it interesting that gossip beat that heinous crime of 'reply all'? Now that, IMO, ought to be a capital crime, or at least a dismissable offence!"
"Even more than playing with cellphones during meetings?" asked the Cow. "Mind you, I suppose it depends on the ringtone. One more William Tell Overture and I haul out my bow and arrow!"
"Perhaps we should conduct a poll here at the Knowledge Factory," Gramsci suggested. "I'm sure people who come late to meetings, or don't send out agendas and minutes timeously, or Jammie Shuttles who cause students to rush into lectures late, would all feature!"
"Or snotty groupmails instructing rather than advising, or students who park in staff parking bays!"
"Hmmm..." mused Gramsci. "It could get quite lengthy."
"Almost as lengthy as the alleged climate survey," agreed the Cow. "If that ever sees the light of day!"
"Perhaps," suggested Gramsci tentatively, "that was also just a dream?"