Which was probably as well, as she had her eye on plants in the garden, to feast on.
The grass greener on the other side? Well, those were the kinds of questions this Cow has been facing since her return from the Yew Kay. It seems that everyone translated a four-week absence into an LSD trip, and wanted to know the outcome. Was the return merely temporary, in order to pack up and serve out notice periods, or had the warm beer and funny accents been sufficient to discourage her from any intentions to step over the pond?
All of which was very amusing, the Cow assured Gramsci. Partly because the beer wasn't warm, and partly because it had never been intended as an LSD trip anyway.
But, she assured him, the grass was very much greener. And springier, and lusher, and quite another type of thing to what she associated with the term "grass" from her exposure to African grass. In fact, there were so many different shades of green she felt linguistically impoverished and unable to describe them sufficiently with only the term "green" at her disposal. A bit like isiXhosa having a single word for both blue and green, perhaps. But greener, by any definition, the grass most certainly was. And wetter, even at midday. Laying in the grass was inadvisable without an aqualung, even on the sunniest day.
Inadvisable also, perhaps, because of the nettles. Not that the nettles bothered the Cow - their sting was overrated, and besides, they seemed always to grow among dock leaves, their natural antidote - and she discovered during "be kind to nettles" week that they contained more iron than spinach. The subtext was that one shouldn't root them out of ones garden, but rather farm them, and eat them.
But the Cow didn't get that far. With Green & Black's orgasmic chocolate, and Thunder & Lightning ice cream, as a staple diet, she was never tempted to become that adventurous. Aside from the fact that it reminded her of Angela Lansbury, and manglewurzles, and she had no inclination to land up at the bottom of the sea with a bunch of football-playing cartoon animals, World Cupor not!
be kind to sheep = ?"
"Eat nettles!" insisted the Cow.