Toasters! I had always considered toasters to be a benign technological presence. Now, I could understand a large scale massacre of humans by washing machines, by hi-fis, or by kettles; and no more malevolent presence could be conceived than a PC running a Microsoft Windows operating system... but toasters?
I slept very lightly, my hand tightly clenched around a claw hammer, just in case. One never knew when these things would attack, and preparedness was everything.
In the cold light of morning, I snuck into the kitchen and scouted around. Everything lay exactly as it had been left the night before. The toaster was obviously biding its time. It occurred to me that perhaps the best strategy was a pre-emptive strike - if I slew the toaster first, it would not be able to slay me. Perhaps I should organise a world-wide toaster cull, I thought, as my civic duty?
Just then, the fridge began spluttering. My previous fridge had died on the same day as Susan Sontag, a fact I marked down as Significant at the time, and I was concerned that this one was following suit - and wondering which other Profound Thinker would have to die to accompany the soul of my fridge to heaven... when I realised that it was probably all a plot, and if I slew the toaster, the geyser would probably commit suicide, and incite the microwave to explode or the oven to melt. Great conspirators, domestic appliances.
I decided that this was all a bit much for a Sunday, and left it. But I've left the hammer beside my bed, just in case....