Among the skills I've noticed being acquired by those whose monthly wages approximate the daily wage of those on the top end of our own salary spectrum are the following:
- affirmative shopping skills. A pair of handcuffs and a bottle of whisky were my personal contribution to this learning outcome, but more mundane contributions have included groceries, money and small, portable pieces of electronic equipment.
- panhandling skills. These will be particularly useful to those whose affirmative shopping skills have not been adequately matched by their detection evasion skills, and who find themselves unemployed having to draw on other skills along the side of the road should thie affirmative shopping skills be insufficiently advanced to produce enough income without the monthly stipend from the outsource company to augment it.
- budgeting skills. Keeping a family fed, clothed and schooled in the face of rising prices increasing inconvenience requires creative budgeting skills. Sadly these are not always matched with skills in nutrition, and skin pallor and immunodeficiency often raise questions about the depth of these skills or the degree to which the skill is sufficient.
- entrepreneurial skills. These range from the lamentable (such as the sale of exam papers to students) to the laudable (such as lunchtime car washing schemes) and include a fair amount of errand running for tips and subversion of official procurement processes for services such as office painting or office contents removal.
- stand-up comedy skills. Faced with the alternatives of abject misery or deft humour, many have opted for the latter to enable the continued placement of one foot in front of the other in the face of resistance, and sitcom writers could learn valuable tricks on situational humour from many of the successfully skilled in this aspect.
Perhaps we could include a special addition to grad week where these newly skilled are officially recognised and applauded?