"So how was Oz?" he asked gamely. Or lamely, depending on one's perspective.
The Cow wasn't exactly sure how to answer that. "Well..." she began. "It's a really big place, and we saw only a couple of bits of it, and even between those bits it's hard to generalise."
Gramsci grunted what he hoped passed for an appropriate response.
"Seednee, for example," continued the Cow, "commemorates it's literary nobility - including some it purloined from elsewhere like Josef Conrad - with plaques on Circular Quay. I did recognise some of the names - Germaine Greer, Peter Carey, and a couple of others - and of course it's all overshadowed by the scallops of the Opera House. Highly cultured, Seednee is."
The penny dropped for Gramsci. Sydney, of course. Right.
"Adelaide, on the other hand... Now who gets commemorated there? Cricketers! There's a statue up on the hill in North Adelaide, and the highway leading to the airport - which had a perfectly serviceable name before - has been renamed the Donald Bradman Highway! Can you imagine! And this, with a Prime Minister who asserts that sport is the marker of a true civilisation..."
And sends troops to Iraq, thought Gramsci. But wisely said nothing.
"Queensland, by contrast..." Gramsci could swear he heard a note of smugness creeping into the Cow's tone. "Queensland has other priorities. Besides being 'The Sunshine State', its licence plates also peg it as 'The Smart State', and they sure are! Besides having the best climate, they also have the best sense! Who do you see commemorated from Cairns all the way up?"
Gramsci shuddered at the thought.
"C' est moi!" trumpeted the Cow triumphantly. "There's a Cow Bay, and every second restaurant or coffee shop is called Funky Cow, Cool Cow, or some such!"
Gramsci rolled his eight eyes in horror. No wonder global warming was being so adversely affected by bovine hot air....