Recently, though, Carnivorous Cow had to concede that paddleskiing was not the best fun in winter storms, and that perhaps exercise-induced asthma wasn't an outright allergy to any form of physical activity, and that perhaps joining a gym wasn't *such* a moral compromise if one thought about it. After all, one merely had to swipe one's card; once inside, one could happily sip cappuccinos and read the weekend papers and watch others build up a sweat, or surf the internet for _real_ hot bods to try to restore ones faith in human evolution.
But no one warned her of the obvious. Which was that colleagues one expended vast amounts of effort avoiding on Campus, could - and would - appear without warning on the bicycle alongside, or plop down next to one in the sauna, or sneak up as one was dripping out of the shower. And that the scariness of these colleagues would be exponentially increased by dressing them in lycra. Or draping them in a wet towel. Or nothing at all.
Perhaps, Carnivorous Cow sighed to Gramsci, it was simply the Universe's way of righting itself. Inasmuch as coffee reportedly increased sexual activity - see "more", below - going to the gym quashed any libido that might have reared its head, so to speak. Perhaps they should simply make gym attendance compulsory, and then they wouldn't have to worry about more dark nookie nooks after all?
Caffeine increases dopamine, a brain neurotransmitter that plays a role in feeling pleasure, including sexual pleasure, says Ellen Albertson, a nutritionist who has studied aphrodisiacs. "That may be why research shows that coffee drinkers are more sexually active than non-coffee drinkers."
* * *
"The *real* problem with exercise", grumbled Gramsci, "is that it makes you so _hungry_!" He stalked a noxious looking beetle menacingly across the desk. "So any kilojoules you burn off, go right back on, with interest!" He pounced. "And, of course, we all know that fat is more buoyant than muscle," he added, sinking his mouthparts into the crunchy exoskeleton, "which is why whales, and cetaceous humans, are such good swimmers." He chomped loudly and reflectively. "Plus, of course, swimmers shave their body hair. Very unsexy, swimming, all in all, if you're looking for a man's body to perv at."